Upon returning home from The First Day training at the new job, I opened the door to a smiling and giddy husband-to-be.

Holding this:

Flowers = Excellence

Awwwww!!

The day went so ridiculously perfect that my tum-tum fills with dread having to finish my two weeks at old job.

The Mister: I decided I’m going to get a tattoo.
Me: Oh yeah?
The Mister: On my shoulder.
Me: Hmm. Okay. What is it going to be?
The Mister: A potato chip.
Me: (blank stare, eventual light bulb)
In Unison: Chip on your shoulder.

Ba dum ching!